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Original post by Hamilton Nolan on Rankings

America's Top 99 Problems

America's Top 99 Problems

99. Terrorism.

98. Gingivitis.

97. Peeling paint.

96. Potential asteroid strikes.

95. Deaths caused by "extreme" sports.

94. Inability to get into desirable nightclubs.

93. Snakebites.

92. Missed child support payments.

91. Defamatory online smears.

90. Attacks by charismatic megafauna.

89. Unintentional ingestion of poison.

88. Tardiness.

87. Botched plastic surgery.

86. Ugly clothes.

85. Structure fires.

84. Wildfires.

83. Built-in obsolescence of electronic devices.

82. Dog or cat bites.

81. Nothing good to watch on TV.

80. Rats.

79. Light pollution.

78. Muggings.

77. Drowning.

76. Airline delays.

75. Simple trips and falls.

74. Sexism in media and entertainment.

73. Racism in media and entertainment.

72. Traumatic brain injury associated with sports.

71. Prison gangs.

70. Surly or rambunctious teenagers.

69. Street gangs.

68. Sophisticated international organized criminal enterprises.

67. Food-borne illness.

66. Joint disease.

65. Orbiting space pollution.

64. Loss of wetlands.

63. Credit card fraud.

62. Cultural snobbery.

61. Non-fatal STDs.

60. Insider trading.

59. Police brutality.

58. Factory farms.

57. Hurricanes.

56. Erectile dysfunction.

55. Gentrification.

54. This weather we're having.

53. Bullies.

52. Crying babies.

51. Too many hours spent sitting.

50. Cockblocking.

49. Narcissism.

48. Bureaucracy.

47. Alzheimer's.

46. The general sense of ennui that accompanies modernity.

45. Lack of knowledge about the long-term effects of industrial chemicals.

44. The degradation of our nation's bridges, highways, and other infrastructure.

43. Drought.

42. Drug addiction.

41. Alcoholism.

40. Low wage dead end jobs.

39. Everything too expensive.

38. AIDS

37. Gerrymandering.

36. Inability to enact meaningful campaign finance reform.

35. A criminal justice system that favors the rich.

34. Air pollution.

33. Water pollution

32. Student debt.

31. The mathematical impossibility of an adequately funded retirement.

30. Lack of socioeconomic mobility.

29. New and dangerous varieties of infectious disease.

28. Rape.

27. Unemployment.

26. Diabetes.

25. Unwise deregulation of financial markets.

24. Military non-fatal casualties in foreign wars.

23. Military fatalities in foreign wars.

22. Civilian non-fatal casualties in foreign wars.

21. Civilian fatalities in foreign wars.

20. Homelessness.

19. Rampant obesity.

18. Auto accidents.

17. Government eavesdropping.

16. Mental illness.

15. Lack of health insurance.

14. Suicide.

13. A low quality and unequal public educational system.

12. Sexism in society at large.

11. Racism in society at large.

10. Too many guns.

9. The misguided war on drugs.

8. Mass extinction of nonhuman species.

7. Loneliness.

6. Cancer.

5. A loss of perspective on what is and is not important.

4. Heart disease.

3. Global warming.

2. Poverty.

1. Sellouts.

[Image by Jim Cooke. Thanks, JRL.]

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