New York City private schools are not all alike, despite their disturbingly similar tuition prices and frequently occurring scandals. But thankfully, there's finally a definitive list of the best city-area schools that will maybe accept your tuition checks.

Rankings are based on the schools' reputations, popularity, and Ivy League-bound graduates. Horace Mann, my alma mater, was given its ranking based on merit and not for any other reason, no siree.

43. Birch Wathen Lenox

22. Hewitt

21. Trevor Day

20. Boarding School

19. Dwight

18. Whatever school you went to before Dwight

17. Professional Children's School

16. Nightingale

15. Poly Prep

14. St. Ann's

13. Summer Camp

12. Columbia Prep

11. Chapin

10. Trinity

9. Fieldston

8. Riverdale

7. Dorrian's

6. Collegiate

5. Brearley

4. Dalton

3. Spence

2. Horace Mann

1. NYC Prep